When we find ourselves upset, angry or just pissed-off at someone or something it is very rarely about that person or thing. It is most often simply the most recent out-picturing of a long trail which began sometime in our past. The really wonderful thing about this anger or upset is once we recognize what we are feeling, we are invited to follow the trail back to whatever it was when we first felt the initial cause of our upset.
If we are upset because we feel we are not being heard, at what point in our lives do we first remember feeling unheard or under valued? We then follow the trail back to that point and we can then use the Involved Observer process I write about in It’s All About Me to determine if we want to continue to re-act to that long ago event. Our past is written, there is no amount of wishing, hoping or praying which will change the past. We can only operate from today. Today is our power. (read Think Believe Receive for more information.)
Should we choose to ignore this self-evaluation we run the very real risk of experiencing the same anger and upset time and again which could destroy our relationships, our employment and our happiness.
One thing to remember about this self-evaluation: when we identify the beginning of the trail, we do not get to make our parents, uncles, teachers or anyone else wrong. We simply identify the source and decide if we want to continue living this way, or forgive ourselves and anyone else for living this way all these years. No one promised following the trail would be easy, but the payoff is fantastic.