Better to forgive than delete

Sooner or later, in all of our lives, comes the question; do I forgive this person or do I delete them from my life.  Our emotional response is often; delete, delete, delete.  Our spiritual response is; forgive.

Let’s look at the delete option.

When we choose to cut-ties with someone over what they have done or said, we may feel an immediate, emotional gratification.  In the long run removing someone from our lives may even be the perfect choice.  What remains, however is the root cause of the conflict.  We know that very often the most challenging people in our lives are there as our teachers.  They are there to help us overcome an aspect of ourselves which no longer serves us.  This may not be a comfortable journey, but it is a journey that is there for our highest and best good.

If we choose to move-on from a relationship we are well served by making sure whatever the cause of our choice is has been healed.  If the underlying problem is not resolved, it will appear again and again in our lives.

What about the forgive option?

It is very important to remember that forgiveness is not the same as  forgetfulness. I can forgive whatever it is I think you have done to me, but I do not have to forget the experience.  The ideal balance is to forgive from the heart.  Remove all the emotional ties to whatever perceived betrayal there may have been.  Then we are free to remember only that something happened.  It was a learning experience, and I will do my best not to repeat the same situation.  Both parties are involved in this balance.  If we choose not to forgive, we carry that poison with us for the rest of our lives.  Even long after that person is gone from our lives we continue to suffer unless we find a way to forgive.


Learning to discern between the two options is a key to our happiness.  When we understand that we can keep the knowledge, but forgive the experience we grow in so many delightful ways.

Read It’s All About Me for more tips about releasing the emotional baggage from your life.  Click on the book cover below for a sample of this book, and order your own copy at

The Involved Observer