I can look around me and see people I think have it all together, who have perfect lives and know exactly where they are going and what they will do when they get there. These people scare me.
I look at my life and say to myself “I am a fraud; people think I know where I am going, that I am confident every moment, and know exactly what to say.” All this is untrue. I walk through life with a good idea of where I want to go, yes, and I do seem to have a way of communicating that gets my point across, and most of the time I do have confidence that I can manage my life, but sometimes, sometimes, I find myself rocked back on my heels from uncertainty and the thought “If anyone knew what I was feeling, they would hate me. I am a fraud.”
If the thought that you are a fraud and people would hate you if they knew your uncertainty, please rest assured almost everyone of us, regardless of income, social standing or position, has these feelings along the way. You are not alone. The trick to moving forward is to minimize these occasional experiences and remember that most of the time you do know what you are doing. This is another example of the truism that “Where we focus our attention grows.” The more we dwell upon our uncertainty about ourselves, the larger our uncertainty grows.
If you want to take more control over your life you first must understand that what you think shapes how you feel. I have a book you might be interested in reading that explains more of this concept and gives specific examples of how to regain control of your experience; . Give it a read and see what you think.