Until we accept personal responsibility for our own actions, words, desire and thoughts we have but one tool in our tool chest to allow us to move forward: Blame. We blame others for the state of our lives, we blame others for the condition of our marriages. “You ruined my (our) life, you cost me my job, ‘they’ are Keeping me away from what I want.”
Each of the above statements is patently false. Furthermore each of these statements dis-empowers us from having the life we want to lead. In a relationship-regardless of who we frame that word relationship- each party is responsible for their own stuff.
I may tell you “I did everything I could to save this relationship” meanwhile you are saying to me that you have done the same thing, everything you could. Meanwhile both of us are looking at each other saying “you are delusional!” Then we both go to our high-ground to prove our point and end up in the mud.
Personal responsibility is true IN-powerment, and it means the blame game can no longer be played, that tool must be discarded. We no longer blame anyone else for what is happening, not even ourselves. From whatever ash hill we may find ourselves upon, if we want to grow and move forward, we must accept our personal responsibility in whatever has occurred, honor ourselves and the other party and remember each of us brings to the party a large sack of “stuff.”
For more insights into quitting the Blame Game read either or both of my books, Think, Believe, Receive, three steps to an amazing life, and It’s All About Me, the Involved Observer.